Pretend You Are Dead

I pretend you are dead to get away from your memory.
Your beauty has burned its image into my brain.
Your power and your presence has marked me.
I obsess over them until I am insane.

I take trips and change jobs to get away from you.
I cant even listen to the music I love.
You intertwined yourself with the words.
It no longer sounds like what I heard.

It’s been a long time now.
Your beauty is no longer so disarming.
I am a victim of a terrible theft.
Your memory more harming,
than your words were to me as you left.

I work to forget you lied.
Your motives thrived on my guilt driven honesty.
I found out my weakness was your weapon. I died.
I didn’t know what else to be.

You have made yourself a non event.
I look and cannot find you.
You could care less where I went.
I leave messages where I know to,
they go unreturned, as if unsent.

It’s sad but I pretend you are dead
to get away from your memory.
In those rare moments when,
I’m not wishing that I was.

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About The Emotional Orphan

I am a museum of past affection. A wax museum in the sun.
This entry was posted in Poems, Poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Pretend You Are Dead

  1. Kavita says:

    Oh wowww.. I could feel the pain in this… It was a very vividly painted picture!!!
    “my guilt driven honesty” — the root cause of all misery!

    An absolutely stunning read, EO !! You rock!!

    • The Emotional Orphan says:

      You are so kind Kavita. I appreciate your faithful reading and apologize for not always having time to return the favor and comment on all your stuff. FWIW it is read, and enjoyed.

  2. deadpoet88 says:

    So sad, so heart-wrenching. I can understand the pain in this poem. It is very beautifully written. Thank you.

    • The Emotional Orphan says:

      Thanks very much. I appreciate you reading and commenting. This one does come from a heart wrenching experience. It IS only pretend though…lol

  3. This poem reminds me of scar. Permanent and although it fades, it will always be there on your heart. No escape.

    Depressing, but very well written, Jack.

    Funny, I just wrote a poem that’s very similar, but much shorter. Maybe I’ll post it one of these days.

    • The Emotional Orphan says:

      Thanks Jodi, I was just getting ready to answer your email. I appreciate the comments. Did you say maybe? Why wouldn’t you?

  4. last_lines says:

    “I pretend you are dead to get away from your memory.”

    I know these words. I feel these words.. You voiced my feelings..

    Very haunting…it has an echo of pain through the beauty of the poetry..

    • The Emotional Orphan says:

      Thanks so much…Sorry to steal your stuff !– The echos are obvious to me. I am glad the poetry overshadows it for you.

  5. Ouch :O every lines strike directly into the soul and what is left is a memory that is unforgettable, thank for sharing your words ;D

  6. Dakshima says:

    It was one of the best poems i read in recent times.When the pain is too much to handle, we loose ourselves in poetry which is a great escape.
    I feel the pain in the poem since it is mutual.
    Keep up the good work.. 🙂

  7. Lisa Brookhart Navarre says:

    Although the darkness of this poem draws ones attention to the absolute devistation of feeling alone, abandoned and thrown aside, I also gleen a bit of sunshine is the fact that the poem also shows ones perseverance and self drive to rise above the crushing weight of loss and to survive at all cost.. I really, really liked this one alot!!

  8. TheMsLvh says:

    I have actually felt that way towards a couple of people, even mourned their death, It gave me the space I needed to get things into a better perspective and a few years later I can enjoy their company. I see them differently now. They have no hold on me.. Heart touching poem.

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