Fear or Faith
The house slumbers
Silent but for my wife’s peaceful breathing
I should be with her
Safely enveloped in sleep’s warm embrace
But sleep eludes me
The Muse whispers
Sets my heart racing
Stoking the embers of a fire suppressed
Though never extinguished
The Muse calls me from the warmth of my bed
To the solitude of the darkened living room
She calls me to embrace the silence that is not
To reach out, to touch life with my senses
There, just below casual hearing
I can hear it, the background hum of suburban night
But there’s more
A passing car
The laughter of children up too late
A ticking clock
The stench of a neighbor’s cigarette
A hint of pine carried on the night’s breath as it gently kisses my skin.
But reaching out is not enough
“Reach in” purrs The Muse
“Reach deep into your soul
Grasp what lies dormant and shake it!
Awaken it for it is you!”
But I fear what I may awaken
I fear its power
I fear it because it is me
I fear it because it is unknown.
So I must choose
Fear of an unknown self
Fear that I may be forced to change
Faith that God gave me this passion
Faith in my wife’s faith in me
Faith that when I heed The Muse
I feel the most alive.
Fear or faith, which shall I choose?
I walk to the living room.
I pick up a notebook.
I put pen to paper