“The Unseen” Flash Haiku Challenge Result

Sorry for the delay (10:00PM was “zero hour”), but it took me a few minutes to put these all together and format it.

Here was the Challenge:

“…doing another single-themed “flash” haiku challenge, with the exception that this time no one would see anyone else’s until they were all posted…”

The theme: THE UNSEEN

And now for the result (I haven’t even read these yet)…These are posted in the order they were received:

The Unseen

The unseen rule me:
Nameless, faceless, all-knowing;
I’m in their power.
Voices from the past,
Echo through my waking mind;
Driving me insane.
If they would but cease,
My thoughts could become clearer,
Allowing me peace.
I fear the darkness;
Its shadowy, velvet touch,
Caressing my soul.
You shall have your peace,
When we have been satisfied.
Thus spake the unseen.

Shadows are sliding
down blank, cold walls. Chills follow.
Who will save me now?

They had to do it
pressure from one in the group
swamp gas vile as booze
in back the pickup
two twin red plastic gas cans
dream of burning you
looked at the wrong girl
or some grand diss forgotten
as smoke and stink rise
steel-toe boots stomp reeds
to ash, as mosquitoes wait
dinner hot tonight
this body not found quick
no eyes there but the forest’s
charred flesh in its teeth
proud men weep as much
as anyone when shadows cloak
their shame, their wet eyes

Undead Poets hide
their faces from the masses
this should scare us all

Fretting about red
The scent, taste, feel as it glides down
With careless abandon
Here with me. You are.
Skin melts into rhythm. Dark.
I don’t exist

We’re built on ether
Blessings by the <[character]>
Social media
What about your smile?
Your lips moving when you talk?
Meant for human eyes.

Iris blooms dilate,
while retinal detachment
forces your eyes closed
blinded eyes belie
your psychotic alibi.
You maimed your own eyes.

Safe in grace.
Yet Waging war against the weak
The wry beast smiles. Still


Way to Rhyme on, all!

About Tim Keeton

Flashfiction published by Seedpod Pub. Poetry appears in Read Write Poem 2010 Anthology. Founder & creator of the Undead Poets Society
This entry was posted in Challenge, Poems, Poetry, UDPS and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to “The Unseen” Flash Haiku Challenge Result

  1. This is great. As I expected, there is a wholly different feel to this one than the Full Moon Challenge. Now:

    Tim, I love “I fear the darkness;/Its shadowy, velvet touch,/Caressing my soul.”

    Rachel, really nice to end on the question. And also neat how well this works with Tim’s.

    Geoff, nice try, jackass. I guess my one question is why even bother? Weakest part.

    Lisa Gail, I laughed at loud. Felt like I should wear a cloak and laugh like villians from the old-timey moving picture days. “I am an Undead Poet, Muah ha ha ha ha!!!”

    Jodi, lovely as always. Short and sweet, just as all good haikus are.

    Margo, I start and end enthralled. More more more!

    Sean, I love how you took this in an entirely different direction than the rest of us. I know you didn’t plan when it appeared in the link, but I think this is the perfect spot for it.

    and Sandra…cutting it a little close, eh? Perfect ending.

    • Tim Keeton says:

      Astute comments as always, Geoff, except for the self-deprecating ones…your stuff rocks – again!

      Thanks, man!

      Rhyme on!

    • Thank you, Geoff! Wow.
      But now you went and got that old 70s song stuck in my head.

      I definitely disagree with your self-assessment. “Steel-toe boots stomp reeds” is up there with “cellar door” on the pleasing-sound scale, AND an image, smell, and sound are right there with it. Also really liked “some grand diss forgotten” because it uses slang without sounding like it does, somehow…? And how sad about proud men!

      P.S. “Geoff, nice try, jackass” has a ring to it. Five syllables, too. 🙂

  2. Sandra says:

    Geoff, your stuff chills my undead skin to its brittle, hollow bones.

    Excellent all around, everyone. Some funny, others chilling, and others still solemn. Way to represent the (undead)human condition, poets!

  3. Jodi, “skin melts into rhythm”?? Yikes! I love it. 😉

    Tim, lovely as always. We all have that in us.
    And, I think an undead tagline is in order: “Thus spake the undead.”
    What say you all?

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention “The Unseen” Flash Haiku Challenge Result | Undead Poets Society -- Topsy.com

  5. Jodi MacArthur says:

    I’m not the best with the obvious or details, but I’m good at spying out flowing scenes. And I can say this “The Unseen” themed flashes are amazingly connected perfectly. It’s as if we are all sharing with each other on a deep level. I wanted to say a quick something about everyone’s too.

    Tim- I could be prejudice because I write horror, but I thought the feel and flow of this was just perfect. Will you write some scene setting in my shorts?
    I fear the darkness;
    Its shadowy, velvet touch,
    Caressing my soul.

    Rachel- Yours chilled me to the core. And it takes Tim’s poem a step further into dark corners. Tim tells us visually about the darkness, but you show us how we should feel about it.

    Geoff- Yours gives us a broader picture, adds humor, and then some starkly chilling moments. None of that nonsense about yours being the weakest. I love yours. Your flashes are poetic rambles that are both humorous, intelligent and often chilling. This line sent shivers down my spine. Life can go along perfectly until that one instant that sets us off on the wrong foot.
    “looked at the wrong girl
    or some grand diss forgotten”

    Lisa- I think this is so perfect yours is placed here. It’s like a line break. Like an undead chorus singing about all the undead participants.

    Mine- UM. I’m disappointed the first haiku came out sounding like wine or even blood. In my mind’s eye I saw red lingerie being pushed off a woman’s shoulders. The lovely aspect of flash is the writing comes out raw. The unlovley part is that the intentions and meanings aren’t as clear as we’d like them to be. Clarity only comes through editing and multiple drafts. Either way, throwing caution to the wind feels good.

    Margo- Are you sure this is a flash? Every word has meaning, it feels especially placed. And how perfect to come after my line ‘I do not exist’, yours takes it a step further: online presence and the humanity of needing real human presence to create true… love or lust? I love your poetry. Like Geoff says, more more more!

    Sean- Margo’s last line is “meant for human eyes” and then you write about eyes! And then you plunge us back into the mind of a psychotic who doesn’t want to “see” what he’s doing. The last line is especially chilling. It ties the whole thing together and delivers that punch. (You’re scaring me with all these serial killer writes. Hello? ;p)

    Sandra- and how amazing is it you wrap it all with a blessing and a hint of evil. Fantastic!

    (so this is a tad long, but I would have left them on each of your poems anyway).

    You all ROCK,


    ps. Thus spake the undead. 😉

    • Thank you, Jodi. Those are eerie threads indeed. I will admit, my first line had been floating around in my head. Does that break rules?
      BTW, don’t fret about red. It’s hot hot hot. In the last line, do you mean “I” melts into “we”? Like that interpretation.

      Rachel, your last line still haunts me.
      Tim and Lisa, you seem to be on the same wavelength here. Maybe we should pair people off for blind duets sometime. Maybe intertwine the lines? 🙂
      Sandra, you wry beast! Telling me I’m safe in grace and smiling that smile.

      • Jodi MacArthur says:

        Thanks Margo. yeah, the poem really does need to be rewritten. The ending is meant to say “I”. She’s reaffirmed of his obvious physical attraction, but that is all he is interested in, thus she feels (who she is on the inside) doesn’t exist, at least to him. It is supposed to turn the reader on and make them think at the same time. Perhaps that is stretching it. LOL ;p

        ps and no, I dont think it breaks the rules.

      • Words always make me think, Jodi – especially yours!
        That sentiment is beautifully complex and twisty, and totally relatable. Worth exploration.
        Thus spake the undead.

      • Sandra says:

        Margo, i’m not sure if this changes my haiku’s effect, but the beast is the one who is safe in grace. 😮

  6. Pingback: UDPS Flash Haiku Summer | Undead Poets Society

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s